Thursday, June 13, 2013

farewell, bhootu and bella



Sunday was a day I was dreading but ready to face as I needed to be released from the anxiety I was carrying around associate with it. 

Travis and I both know for the best care of the dogs, the health of the team, and the practicality of the situation, that we need to give our dogs away. However, this has been really difficult as those dogs have been an anchor for our family and the best friend of our little girl. 

Only a dog lover can write pages about their dogs. So if you are a dog lover, read on. If you are not, just pray for the heart of our dog-loving daughter as she bravely makes the best of giving away her beloved Bella.

In March of 2010, in our last afternoon in Kampala before we were to make our very first 10 hour drive into Bundibugyo, I had planned to meet the aunt of a friend who had arrive to Uganda only four months prior to us. As Travis was with our team leader Scott shopping for supplies (which really meant that whatever Scott put in his cart to buy, Travis put in his cart too...we were so green we did not even know how to shop or what to buy). 

Without a car, I asked the guesthouse to call a taxi for me. What showed up was a small, double cab, beat-up pick-up truck. This was only my 3rd day in Uganda, so I assumed that all taxis looked like this (they don’t) and got in with my three children in tow. The seat did not have any seatbelts, so I put two month old Aidan in a BabyBjorn pack on my front and 3 year old Patton on one side of me and 5 year old Lilli on the other side, said a prayer, and held them as tightly as I could. Assuming that the taxi driver knew where to go, we wound through congested traffic, dodging some pot holes, hitting others, sucking in the fumes of the other diesel trucks that were as stuck as we were. Eventually, we arrived to the correct section of town, but the driver had a really difficult time finding the home as roads are not well marked and there was a Road, a Street, and a Drive all bearing the same first name. Eventually, we arrived at the house and met the aunt. Of course, Travis had all the cash so I had to borrow from this woman I had never met to pay the fare. As I am wrangling three children under the age of 5, she shows me her beautiful Embassy house and we get to know each other. The minutes and then hours tick by as I wait for Travis. 

Eventually, I get a call with a very excited Travis who relays that “Scott says we have to get this puppy. It is a pure bred Black Labrador and he has never seen those for sale here. It is only $250 and we really need it.” Need it? I quickly did a mental inventory that we had just sold our house, cars, given away all our belongings and stored the remaining in my parent’s garage, moved two continents away with two children and a two month old, and would in about 12 hours be traveling over some of the worst roads imaginable to our new life. Need it? But Travis sounded so excited and with all of the loss we had just done, we needed a gain. A puppy would be a fun way to start this new life. And our team leader said we should do it. “Ok,” I told Travis, “but this dog is going to be called MAX because this is the max of what I can take!” 

So, he brought the sweet bundle of black fur to my new (and gracious) friend’s house, then we sneaked it into the guesthouse, listened to it cry all night, and then headed the next morning for our first drive into Bundibugyo. As our truck was so packed, we did not even have room for a small puppy to ride. Scott said he could ride in a cardboard box on the seat next to him as he led us. Pretty sure that the puppy rode in Scott’s lap the whole way.

Named Bhootu or “friend” in Lebwisi, he truly became a companion for our family. A social dog, he would often dig under or jump over the fence to escape and visit the Myhre dog, Star, who lived across the property and then road from us. After multiple escapes, we nicknamed him “Houdini” and then fortified our fence with taller fencing, planted thorny bouganvillia and buried an American invisible fence system. 

During one such escape, I called my teammate Loren to ask if she had seen Bhootu run towards her house. Ever a friend, she went looking for him, calling “Bhootu” in hopes he would come to her. He did not, but a few hours later, she heard a knock on her door. To her surprise, there stood 6 small children who said, “Madame, you were calling for a friend (“bhootu”). We will be your friend!” Precious.

Three times, we had to give Bhootu iv fluids to save his life. The first time, he had yellow tick fever and was paralyzed. The second time, he received too much fly medicine and was so very sick. The third time, he ate the rat poison that I had put in the work room in my war with the rodents. We really thought he was going to die as his blood would not coagulate. We called all the vet-type people we knew, comforted him, gave him IV fluids, and searched for vitamin K. None at any of the local tin-roofed pharmacies. Even at the hospital where babies should receive vitamin K, there was none. I asked Travis to check one more place. He reasoned outloud that if there was none at the hospital where babies lives depended upon it, there would be none at the pharmacy across the street from it. But we did what we always do when stuck, we prayed...outloud...for vitamin k. I almost pushed him into that pharmacy to ask. And they had it. Rushing home, we gave it to Bhootu and he made a quick recovery. (And gave the rest to the hospital for the babies!)

One morning, Bhootu had escaped and an angry neighbor came to our front katubi. He claimed that Bhootu had taken the cow head from his home and was demanding compensation. His wife had just produced a baby and the local belief is that she needs to eat from the head of a cow. As was the custom, we sat and listened and called elders to witnesses and mediate. We knew the price he was demanding was high, but told him that he could bring the remaining head and we would settle with him. What he brought was a partial jawbone, but we also remembered that this man was extremely poor, probably scared of our big black dog, and was trying to give proper nutrition to his wife and baby. We paid. 

When a teammate suggested that we breed Bhootu with her female dog, Lilli decided that Bhootu needed a proper wife. Travis, who was now at his max, said no. I understood Lilli’s reasoning and hoped having a mate would help Bhootu stay closer to home, so I said that she should pray about it. Every night for two weeks, Lilli prayed specifically for a yellow lab wife for Bhootu. During our one night stay in Kampala, at 9pm, I noticed a flyer for a yellow lab female puppy and called the number. It was only after the puppy and owner were on their way to meet us did I tell Travis. After all, who can say no to the prayers of a 6 year old girl and the face of a yellow lab puppy? And that is how Bella came to our family.

And Bhootu and Bella did get married and start a family. Seven little puppies were born the week before we left Bundibugyo and are now in missionary homes across Uganda and South Sudan. And Bella has produced another litter of 8 puppies which will also be going to homes in a few weeks. 

This recent birth of the puppies was the fun news to share with the kids. New life always brings joy. But doing what is best for the dogs and the team means that Bhootu and Bella need new homes. Telling the kids, breaking their hearts, was not something that I wanted to do, but knew was necessary. So, we all cried on Sunday afternoon and we are in the process of finding new homes and grateful for teammates who will transport them our of Bundibugyo. We have said a lot of goodbyes and hellos and then goodbyes again. We are familiar with the deep ache from saying goodbye to people we love. Now that ache comes from bidding farewell to two dogs that have loved us well. 

Farewell, Bhootu and Bella.

Sunday, June 2, 2013

sons of Adam


Dinner conversation:

Travis: We just read about the meeting between Aslan and the kids in “The Magician’s Nephew”. Aslan had convened all of the Narnian animals together to conference about the evil (meaning the Jadis the witch) that had just entered his country. He asked Diggory what happened. If you were Diggory, what would you have told Aslan?

Lilli: Gives a five minute explanation of each detail that happened in the story as what she would have explained when questioned by Aslan.

Patton: “I would say that the woman made me do it.”

Indeed, we are sons of Adam.

Friday, May 31, 2013

chemo-cation


When I told a friend that the kids were going to spend a few days with my mother at the lake, she said, “ohhh, a vacation for you two!” 

Well, kinda. If the kids were not being sent away because Travis is having chemotherapy and then ensuing sickness, then it would be a wonderful kid-free "stay-cation". But he is having chemo and he is sick, so we are calling this “chemo-cation” and have enjoyed a slow pace of late morning walks, protein pumped smoothies, naps (for him), cleaning (for me), and time to process and dream again. 

The chemo is done. The kids are on I-26 coming home. Honestly, I am glad for the end of this chemo-cation.

Monday, May 20, 2013

just where we are

It's the last week of school. While usually an exciting time, this week is a tough one.

Before the cancer diagnosis, we had planned to be in Spain for two weeks of leadership training and conference meetings. As this gathering only happens every three years, we were eager to see friends with whom we had instantly bonded at the last conference. I was also excited by the fact that as my kiddos are now three years older, instead of breastfeeding a 6 month old in the back of the room, I could attend all the meetings and enjoy some grown-up conversations!

But, instead, we are working to get a refund on our tickets, admire the pictures of the conference on Facebook, prepare for end of school events, take slow walks to try to overcome side effects of chemotherapy, and try to count our blessings.

Yesterday, we gave some good news and some bad news to the kids. Bella had 8 healthy puppies. The timing was not what we had planned and our business plan of selling puppies to save for a vacation are not going to pan out. But there is nothing cuter than lab puppies and I am sure they will make someone happy. The sad news is that since we are delayed in our return and they are not getting good care, we need to find new homes for the dogs. This is plain hard. Lots of tears. Lots of loss. That's all I can say about that.

Days like these, being where we are instead of where we want to be and doing thing we would rather not do, remind me that some days, maybe weeks or month, are just plain hard. And that's ok. I love what the Fort Portal vanilla-farmer, Lulu, once told me: "Some people have the bounce back factor. Things don't work out as they had planned, but they bounce back. Those people are the ones that are going to make it."

I know we are Bounce Back People.


Thursday, May 16, 2013

bundi video

Intern Margaret Varina Hart created a video about Bundibugyo.

Simply Beautiful.

http://vimeo.com/66301896

photos from the last month

My beautiful sister Meghan on her wedding day, April 6th
Lilli, an attendant, and I as matron of honor
Aidan...need I say more?!

Patton and his cousin Charlie (with silly Aidan) waiting during the rehearsal
And two days after the wedding, in the pre-op room before surgery
A visit from WHM Missionary Care Leader, Meredith Elder, the day before the first chemotherapy
And Josiah Bancroft, our NC pastor, good friend, and WHM Director of Ministry
And then they sent the "big gun" Bob Osborne, WHM Chief of All
Post Chemo Snuggles on the couch
Proud of our Lillian who is learning the rules to soccer (which are a bit different than "barefoot football in the front yard with a team of 6-14 year old Ugandan neighbors"!)
Patton has proved to be a natural on the field and gives his buddies lots of high fives after goals
And us...

Thursday, April 11, 2013

these days

these days are new types of days for all of us.

greetings at 6am by surgeons who check progress or lack of progress
hooking and unhooking and hooking up to the iv machine in order to move in and out of bed
walking slowly down the hall, pushing the iv pole, joining in the parade of post surgery patients
picking up mimi from the airport who has come to be stability and softness for our kids
praying for patients who are all alone in their rooms
greeting the therapy dog "sid"and chatting with the vet lady who brings happiness to patients
watching travis consume only half a cup of jello in 4 days time
being prayed over again and again by faithful pastors who love us dearly
bringing down the average age of patients on this hall by 25-30 years
changing of the guard with mom j when i need to go and be a mom myself
watching nate and t together, brothers through thick and thin
driving to soccer practice and dental appointments
being so thankful for meals brought by dear friends and chef bob
sitting next to travis, reading psalms when he is in too much pain to talk
thankful for the ng tube that is pulling out liquids from his stomach that were causing so much pain
trying to watch "downton abbey" but realizing that we have enough drama to fill a room
hugging the kiddos in a 5 minute visit that brought cheer and stability to family life
filling up a wall with pictures and cards
changing of nurses and techs who continue to be helpful and cheerful
enjoying treats from thoughtful friends
napping to make up for interrupted and uncomfortable sleep
waiting for pathology results 
waiting for digestive systems to work together
waiting for healing from surgery
praying together, resting together, thanking together